Stoicism Misunderstood: Rediscovering the Real Meaning
Over the past few years or so, Stoicism has undergone something of a renaissance. Social media and online platforms have no doubt played a large part in this, not least because it’s easy to lift a quote from a philosopher and stick it on an image or post to drive engagement. Certainly, there are those who use Stoic references to explore the actual teachings and principles of the philosophy. But there are also many who, either deliberately or accidentally, continue to misrepresent it.
I suspect it began with small deviations from the core teachings, followed by the usual snowball effect once the message reached wider audiences. The modern world’s appetite for instant gratification doesn’t help either. People are often more interested in short quotes and soundbites than in investing the time to read and reflect deeply on the Stoic texts and teachings. That’s not unique to philosophy, of course, it’s a symptom of a culture that seemingly rewards being seen to know something rather than truly understanding it.
What many now construe as Stoicism is closer to numb, emotional detachment, where people take pride in an absence of emotion rather than engaging with it. The Stoics, however, didn’t advocate for emotional suppression. They taught that to live well; one must understand and manage emotions through reason and moral virtue. Their lessons provide a framework for living a good and meaningful life, grounded in rational understanding of the universe, virtue, and alignment with nature.
The True Essence of Stoicism
The Stoics sought eudaimonia, a flourishing and happy life. This was the pursuit of lasting happiness, not mere fleeting pleasure. They believed inner contentment was achieved through moral virtue. To live wisely, courageously, justly, and with temperance.
Living “in harmony with nature,” as the Stoics described it, didn’t simply mean having a reverence for the natural world. It went beyond just the words. It meant living in alignment with reason and recognising our place within the rational order of the universe enabling one to act accordingly.
Perhaps the most enduring principle, even among modern interpretations, is the Stoic distinction between what lies within our control and what’s outside of it. It’s deceptively simple yet difficult to apply consistently in your daily life. Understanding this and practising it alongside the core virtues gives you the foundation for a stable and fulfilling life.
It requires daily discipline, self-reflection, and the courage to accept reality as it is rather than how we wish it to be. That’s precisely why we need to return to the roots of the philosophy. Now, more than at any other point I can recall in my near four decades alive, the ability to remain calm and composed amid the noise and turbulence of the world feels essential.
Understanding these philosophical roots also makes it easier to see why the Stoics placed such importance on mastering one’s emotional responses.
Strength Through Understanding
Embracing Stoicism has been a long and continual journey for me over the past couple of decades. It began with a desire to better manage my emotions and gradually matured into a broader focus on living according to the virtues and behaviours that lead to a good life. It hasn’t come easily, nor should it and requires continued effort.
There are numerous moments when I need to check myself, and countless morning runs where I reflect on the triggers behind a reaction or the temptation to lose my temper. This is the examined life; the ongoing discipline of not only managing emotional responses but understanding what lies within my control to change.
I’m not without emotion, and nor would I want to be. However, I also don’t want to be governed by irrational, purely emotion-driven reactions either. The two aren’t mutually exclusive, and that distinction is central to genuine Stoic practice.
Why It Matters
Getting to the core of Stoicism matters. The modern misinterpretation and treating it as the repression of emotion, can be damaging both to the individual and to those around them.
We all experience emotion. If you seek to suppress it completely, you don’t cultivate control, instead you merely delay it. When emotions finally break through, they often do so explosively and destructively. If you never allow yourself to feel, you never learn how to manage those feelings when it matters most.
Marcus Aurelius, in Meditations, didn’t write as a man without feeling; he wrote as a man striving to understand and govern his emotions amid chaos and immense responsibility.
Closing yourself off to emotion often leads to closing yourself off to empathy and connection as well. The failure to process feelings in a healthy way can alienate friends, family, and colleagues alike. There is no wisdom, virtue, or moral good in that outcome.
Through understanding ourselves, we gain the capacity to understand others. And by applying the pillars of Stoicism; reason, virtue, and reflection, we not only improve our own lives but contribute to a more balanced and compassionate world for those around us.
Reclaiming Stoicism for What It Truly Is
If we can strip away the modern distortions and the obsession with appearing “unbreakable” or “emotionless” then we can rediscover Stoicism as the timeless guide for living well amid chaos that it is and has been for millennia.
The Stoics believed we should:
Pursue virtue above all else
Live in harmony with nature and reason
Accept what we cannot change
Take full ownership of what we can; our thoughts, choices, and actions
To be Stoic isn’t to be unaffected by life or to build walls around your emotions. It’s to cultivate the intelligence and maturity to manage what you can control and to do so with wisdom, courage, and virtue.